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<div id="readability-page-1" class="page">
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<div>
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<figure name="4924" id="4924" class="graf--figure graf--first">
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<div class="aspectRatioPlaceholder is-locked">
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<img class="graf-image" data-image-id="1*eR_J8DurqygbhrwDg-WPnQ.png" data-width="1891"
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data-height="1280" data-action="zoom" data-action-value="1*eR_J8DurqygbhrwDg-WPnQ.png"
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src="https://d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net/max/1600/1*eR_J8DurqygbhrwDg-WPnQ.png">
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</div>
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<figcaption class="imageCaption">Words need defenders.</figcaption>
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</figure>
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<h3 name="b098" id="b098" class="graf--h3">On Behalf of “Literally”</h3>
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<p name="1a73" id="1a73" class="graf--p">You either are a “literally” abuser or know of one. If you’re anything
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like me, hearing the word “literally” used incorrectly causes a little
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piece of your soul to whither and die. Of course I do not mean that literally,
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I mean that figuratively. An abuser would have said: “Every time a person
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uses that word, a piece of my soul literally withers and dies.” Which is
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terribly, horribly wrong.</p>
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<p name="104a" id="104a" class="graf--p">For whatever bizarre reason, people feel the need to use literally as
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a sort of verbal crutch. They use it to emphasize a point, which is silly
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because they’re already using an analogy or a metaphor to illustrate said
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point. For example: “Ugh, I literally tore the house apart looking for
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my remote control!” No, you literally did not tear apart your house, because
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it’s still standing. If you’d just told me you “tore your house apart”
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searching for your remote, I would’ve understood what you meant. No need
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to add “literally” to the sentence.</p>
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<p name="c2c0" id="c2c0" class="graf--p">Maybe I should define literally.</p>
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<blockquote name="b239" id="b239"
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class="graf--pullquote pullquote">Literally means actually. When you say something literally happened, you’re
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describing the scene or situation as it actually happened.</blockquote>
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<p
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name="a8fd" id="a8fd" class="graf--p">So you should only use literally when you mean it. It should not be used
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in hyperbole. Example: “That was so funny I literally cried.” Which is
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possible. Some things are funny enough to elicit tears. Note the example
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stops with “literally cried.” You cannot <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">literally cry your eyes out</em>.
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The joke wasn’t so funny your eyes popped out of their sockets.</p>
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<h4
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name="165a" id="165a" class="graf--h4">When in Doubt, Leave it Out</h4>
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<p name="e434" id="e434" class="graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote">“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” means you’re hungry. You don’t need
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to say “I’m so hungry I could literally eat a horse.” Because you can’t
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do that in one sitting, I don’t care how big your stomach is.</p>
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<p name="d88f"
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id="d88f" class="graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote">“That play was so funny I laughed my head off,” illustrates the play was
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amusing. You don’t need to say you literally laughed your head off, because
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then your head would be on the ground and you wouldn’t be able to speak,
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much less laugh.</p>
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<p name="4bab" id="4bab" class="graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote">“I drove so fast my car was flying,” we get your point: you were speeding.
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But your car is never going fast enough to fly, so don’t say your car was
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literally flying.</p>
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<h4 name="f2f0" id="f2f0" class="graf--h4">Insecurities?</h4>
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<p name="1bd7" id="1bd7" class="graf--p">Maybe no one believed a story you told as a child, and you felt the need
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to prove that it actually happened. <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">No really, mom, I literally climbed the tree. </em>In
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efforts to prove truth, you used literally to describe something real,
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however outlandish it seemed. Whatever the reason, now your overuse of
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literally has become a habit.</p>
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<h4 name="d7c1" id="d7c1" class="graf--h4">Hard Habit to Break?</h4>
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<p name="714b" id="714b" class="graf--p">Abusing literally isn’t as bad a smoking, but it’s still an unhealthy
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habit (I mean that figuratively). Help is required in order to break it.</p>
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<p
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name="f929" id="f929" class="graf--p">This is my version of an intervention for literally abusers. I’m not sure
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how else to do it other than in writing. I know this makes me sound like
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a know-it-all, and I accept that. But there’s no excuse other than blatant
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ignorance to misuse the word “literally.” So just stop it.</p>
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<p name="fd19"
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id="fd19" class="graf--p">Don’t say “Courtney, this post is so snobbish it literally burned up my
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computer.” Because nothing is that snobbish that it causes computers to
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combust. Or: “Courtney, your head is so big it literally cannot get through
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the door.” Because it can, unless it’s one of those tiny doors from
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<em
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class="markup--em markup--p-em">Alice in Wonderland</em>and I need to eat a mushroom to make my whole
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body smaller.</p>
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<h4 name="fe12" id="fe12" class="graf--h4">No One’s Perfect</h4>
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<p name="7ff8" id="7ff8" class="graf--p">And I’m not saying I am. I’m trying to restore meaning to a word that’s
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lost meaning. I’m standing up for literally. It’s a good word when used
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correctly. People are butchering it and destroying it every day (figuratively
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speaking) and the massacre needs to stop. Just as there’s a coalition of
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people against the use of certain fonts (like <a href="http://bancomicsans.com/main/?page_id=2"
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data-href="http://bancomicsans.com/main/?page_id=2" class="markup--anchor markup--p-anchor"
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rel="nofollow">Comic Sans</a> and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=14448723154"
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data-href="https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=14448723154" class="markup--anchor markup--p-anchor"
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rel="nofollow">Papyrus</a>), so should there be a coalition of people against
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the abuse of literally.</p>
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<h4 name="049e" id="049e" class="graf--h4">Saying it to Irritate?</h4>
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<p name="9381" id="9381" class="graf--p">Do you misuse the word “literally” just to annoy your know-it-all or grammar
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police friends/acquaintances/total strangers? If so, why? Doing so would
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be like me going outside when it’s freezing, wearing nothing but a pair
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of shorts and t-shirt in hopes of making you cold by just looking at me.
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Who suffers more?</p>
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<h4 name="3e52" id="3e52" class="graf--h4">Graphical Representation</h4>
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<p name="b57e" id="b57e" class="graf--p graf--last">Matthew Inman of “The Oatmeal” wrote a comic about literally. Abusers
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and defenders alike <a href="http://theoatmeal.com/comics/literally" data-href="http://theoatmeal.com/comics/literally"
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class="markup--anchor markup--p-anchor" rel="nofollow">should check it out</a>.
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It’s clear this whole craze about literally is driving a lot of us nuts.
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You literally abusers are killing off pieces of our souls. You must be
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stopped, or the world will be lost to meaninglessness forever. Figuratively
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speaking.</p>
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</div>
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</div>
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